A DEEPER LOVE
People let me tell you I work hard every day
I get up out of bed, I put on my clothes
'Cause I've got bills to pay
Now it ain't easy but I don't need no help
I've got a strong will to survive
I've got a deeper love, deeper love
Deeper love inside and I call it
Pride
It's the power that gives you
The strength to survive
And I wanna thank you for helping me see
There's a power that lives deep inside of me
Giving me the strength
To carry on, always be strong
Now I've got love in my heart, it gives me the strength
To make it through the day
Pride and love, oh respect for yourself
Pride, a deeper, deeper love
-- Robert Clivilles & David Cole (C+C Music Factory) (lyrics rearranged a bit by me)

Personal

When I began the Issue of the Month idea I pretty much figured it would delve mostly into my interests in socio-political issues and concerns, featuring articles in the newspaper and things I find on the internet, and showcasing groups I like and want others to find. So it comes as a bit of a surprise to me that I'm now devoting a month to a psycho-social concept like self esteem. But in a way, being yourself and being proud of it is a political statement, in that you are not comforming and giving in to social and political pressure. And what could possibly be more of a political act than that?

It's often said in Gay circles that "coming out" is the most political thing one can do because just by being yourself you are making a statement against the grain, against the political expectations, and you are declaring that you are capable and value living life as you see fit rather than what the government or others tell you to do. I think that is strongly true, but I don't want this month's Issue to just be about Gay Pride because I'm looking to discuss and showcase something deeper than just Gay issues. I'm looking to delve into the psychological issue of self worth and self esteem and pride at their core and what it means to be one's self.

I plan to utilize this Issue and this month to explore myself, my interests, and my life and I encourage you to do the same. This will be as I explore the larger concepts of love for who we are as individuals and as families and as societies, but without pressure of comformity. All of these ideas are concepts that I have daily struggles with myself. It was a year ago this month that I wrote this sad piece during one of my rather deep depressive episodes last year. Pride and Self Esteem are hard sometimes, especially when we're constantly bombarded in life by so many pressures-- peers, family, work, societal, religious, monetary, etc.-- that we never feel good enough to be who we are.

But that's just it-- we are who we are and we need to spend more time learning about ourselves and loving ourselves for who we are than all the time we waste on trying to conform and make others like us. It's hard. I've spent most of my life trying to be someone I'm not. And when I get to a place where/when I want to be myself, most of the time I don't know who that is. I try and think about it and learn about myself and allow myself to be, but I struggle with knowing what I want out of life and what type of person I wish to be.

I realize that I'm rambling a bit throughout here, but I tend to ramble when I try to talk psychologically and when I attempt to discuss my thoughts on life. I'll probably ramble more throughout the month as I discuss this Issue. Ramble with me and we'll all learn more about ourselves together.

(As soon as I get some HTML help in putting up a "comments" link, I'd love to hear your comments to make this a true community section. In the meantime, feel free to send me your feedback)

Political

Be yourself and dare to defy convention! What's more political than that?

Articles

Resources

I found these internet pages which I found interesting on the topic of self esteem:

National Association for Self-Esteem
Self Esteem Booster
Self Esteem Learning Foundation